Daydream Nonbeliever

All the snow-bunnies in central Oregon are hopping with delight at the latest snow, so I figured if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. It was either that or spend another afternoon inside. Dislike of cabin fever won and inspired by the sun poking out from the clouds, I hauled out my snowshoes and headed for the forest out the back gate of the ranch.

It's been a couple of years since my last jaunt out there. For some reason, last year's snowshoeing just didn't happen until well into March, and then it was one afternoon's worth at much higher elevation than our own forest. After today, I'm going to head out on a regular basis. Really. I am.

There's something about having the forest all to yourself. The first quarter mile or so was all untracked, soft powder. About then I realized that my aerobic fitness is, well, bad. Have you ever felt your heart beating so hard it makes your ears pound? I wondered if this was a silly idea, but my heart soon settled down and the regular stops I made were nice for appreciating the all-aroundness of the trees.



It was also fun for setting up my camera for some timer shots. Goddy gave me one of those gorilla-pod things a couple of years ago and its very handy for hanging the camera from a tree. Though I do like the challenge of setting up a shot using a 'natural' tripod. Sticks, logs, big rocks and the hood of the car have all come in handy.

So much easier to hang the gizmo from a tree than try to arrange it on a snowy stump.

I noticed things that I've ridden past many times. These tree whatevers blend in when the snow is gone. Today they yoo-hooed as I plodded along.

Getting into a rhythm, I found myself daydreaming about things such as sleeping on the deck in the summer (not that we've ever done that, but on this cold, snowy day it had a certain appeal.) I thought about the fun times we're going to have with the family this summer and imagined our house full of laughter and games. In my daydreams we were all wearing strappy sun dresses or shorts.

Reality check!

And then my imagination took a bizarre twist. It played a little scene where a power line came down in the pens where my horses live and they were all electrocuted. Where in the heck did that come from? As I came to out of the daydream and looked at the snowy serenity all around, I realized I hadn't done this for quite some time. For me, this mind game is normal and happens when its just me and the wide open spaces. It comes from a place in my head that lets these wild imaginings happen, that lets me feel the emotion of it because the reality is that I'm safe and loved. In my imagination, I've escaped bear attacks, planned funerals, entertained mega-stars and been lowered off a cliff in a stretcher. Oh, wait. That last one really happened.

Wild imaginings notwithstanding, a walk in the woods is a grand way to spend an afternoon. Especially since the weather didn't look too promising for the next day...

The Expanding Heart

Looking forward to the day when we can have Grandkid Camp at the ranch

Yesterday Goddy and I were discussing the phenomenon of bonding with grandchildren, the way the heart creates a new room for each precious life. We both felt tears prickling the first time we've held our granddaughters. 

We've been spending time this weekend with Evan and Crystal and Piper. She's seven weeks old and this is our first opportunity to hold her, so we're taking advantage of E & C's confidence and have kicked them out the door a couple of times so we can have sole charge of Piper. Funny how after just a few weeks the parents grab any opportunity to flee! 

They're working on figuring out a routine for Piper which I'm sure doesn't involve sleeping for hours in the arms of a doting grown-up. But such is the joy of being the old folks. You can bend the rules to fit. And we promise to keep candy to a minimum and only dole out cookies made with organic whole wheat flour, non-GMO sugar and real butter.

We all love having a great-grandmother around!

This is going to be an interesting journey. And one of the side roads will be observing the ways the grandkids display "family" traits even though they come from very different families. This is the joy of being paired with the present day patriarch  of the Godsiff family. 

Stripes and plaid - a meshing of culture or just what happened to be in the closet?

Having time to sit with our daughters-in-law and hear stories of their childhoods, and then listening to the girls' parents talk about their lives is creating a mosaic of lovely colors and background. The grandchildren give it its sparkle and glow.

 And my heart just keeps on making space for it all.

Small life, large world.

I love this quiet time of year. The way the snow muffles sounds and how the light sparkles across the landscape.

It's been a different sort of quiet this year.  Emilio, who loves to use noisy power tools, left just before Christmas to take his family to Mexico for a month. Which means Goddy and I are doing all the feeding and cleaning. Well, Goddy is doing most of it and I help some. This is a good thing for me because I have a hard time getting out of the house on cold mornings.

However, when I do get out there, it's with such a feeling of joy and relief. Joy at being outside with useful work to do and relief at getting all the myriad layers on in the right order. I'm working on knitting a hat for each day of the week. I'm up to Thursday so far!

The walk down the driveway to the ranch opens up the vista of the mountains all around. By the time I'm heading down, the cows are fed and are munching contentedly out in the big pasture.

I head into the feed room in the main barn to get Empress's senior feed and supplements. On the way, I check out Hero and Falcon, making sure their legs are pointing in the right direction. Though you'd hope that if they weren't, Goddy would've raised the alarm.

The next port of call is the hay barn, where the cats are waiting for a hello and a scratch under the chin. They're eager for it, but there's a system here. You stand quietly or better yet, kneel down in the hay and they come in to rub against the back of your legs. Then it's ok to reach out and pet them. Except for Zena.  She loves to be picked up and cuddled. An endearing quality, especially on days when hugs are necessary, such as when I got the call that my dad had passed away or the two dismal afternoons that we had to put horses down. Sitting on the grass with a cat purring on your knee is a great comfort.

After greeting the cats, I continue toward the stall where my horses' supplements are kept. The goats usually have their heads in their hay bin by this stage but will look  up and bleat hello as the cats and I stride past.       








Some mornings Danny, my mule, hollers as soon as he hears the feed buckets. Even if he doesn't shout at me to hurry up, he's always waiting at the gate.

Katie on the other hand, is pacing up and down the fence line, drooling and making strange little whimpers. She has some food issues, a remnant of being starved in a previous life.









They each get a scratch behind the ears, except for Empress who shies away. I like to give her the opportunity to be affectionate but it seems my efforts are wasted. At 30 years old, I doubt she's going to change much.

My favorite part of the morning chores is cleaning their pens. It's a good workout, it gives me a chance to observe some of the inner workings of my horses and stopping to pet them and breathe in their healthy smell is better than Tai Chi. Or so I imagine, since I've never actually done Tai Chi.

Walking home, the vista of the sky reminds me of how small I am in the scheme of things. This isn't a bad thing; if all people lived large lives, who would observe and appreciate their efforts? 

How sweet it is to look to the horizon and say, "I will life up my eyes to the mountains; from where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth."

Word of the Year

Serendipity.

This isn't my word of the year, but it's sure one of my favorites, maybe because it seems to happen so often in the life I'm observing all around. The dictionary, which sometimes has definitions you'd want to quote on Facebook, doesn't quite cut it with this word - "The faculty of making unexpected but desirable discoveries." Ugh, faculty? Boring.

And serendipity is anything but boring. Here's my definition - "An out-of-the blue meeting with someone delightful with a thought or action that can change your life."

I had one of those encounters at the post office in Sisters the other day. I'd been thinking the usual end-of-one-year-beginning-of-another thoughts and was trying to put them into doable words. Lots of words, as is my tendency. My friend, Lynn, listened for a moment, then told me what she does. She chooses one word, get that, one word, to use as a filter through which to gauge her actions and observations of the world.

(To give credit where credit is due, she got the idea from Christine Kane, a song-writer and life coach who writes way more comprehensively than I on the subject. Read her thoughts about the word of the year at http://www.christinekane.com/currentezine/ )

This seemed a much better way to greet the new year than a laundry list of to-do's. My mind immediately started thinking up words, phrases, whole paragraphs of pithy and helpful filters! Then I actually read Christine Kane's blog.  Ok, back to one word. I've been mulling it over for days; others apparently sit for a moment or two and a word plops into their mind and they're ready to go. Those of us of a more contemplative (read dithery) nature need some prep time.

I want to be more involved, do some stuff instead of just thinking or yabbering about it. Be a fluorescent, long-lasting, energy efficient light. (Although I really like the word "incandescent" much better.) To go beyond curiosity (my first word choice) and past action (second word choice), to this...COMPLETE v. finish, conclude, fulfill, end, realize, wrap up. Oops, it's supposed to be just one word. Well, that's what you get for reading Roget's Thesaurus before breakfast!

"Well done is better than well said." Ben Franklin

A Quiet Christmas

These 50 cent finds at Goodwill restored my Christmas goodwill.

The barn gets a bit of cheer too. Nice when gathering around the water cooler.

My favorite chair for cuddling.

Christmas angels come in all shapes and sizes.

Christmas is here and it's all turned out to be a lovely season.



We had time with Evan and Crystal to do a few things at a slower pace. Crystal and I shopped a little bit while the fellows played a round of golf. We got to meet some of the special people in their lives, the dear souls at their church who will care for them in the coming weeks as they adjust to being new parents. And Evan toured us around his school. It warms a parent's heart to walk in their grown-up child's world, however brief the visit.

When Alyssa, Rowan and Katelyn came, we were in the midst of getting one of the Friesians shipped off to his new home in Kentucky. This gave Alyssa a glimpse into our lives, the part of it that puts on multiple layers of warm clothes quite quickly and dashes out the door, to come back who knows when. A winter visit makes me grateful that I didn't raise three boys in snow country! It takes ages to get one boy into snow gear. I imagine if you had multiples, the first one would be having to whiz right about the time you got the last jacket zipped!


Playing in the snow is so much fun with little ones, once they're finally out the door!

Go, Goddy, go!

Goddy had just been to the dermatologist, hence the bandaids

Finding a Christmas tree has gotten a lot easier since we moved into our house with a really low ceiling. There are lots of 7-foot trees pretty close to the road. Handy for taking helpers along!

Rowan, carefully following Gremmy's footprints.

We introduced Katie to the joys of bone-picking. Lamb, of course. We want her to stay true to her Kiwi roots.




A highlight of the season was awaiting the birth of Evan and Crystal's little girl, Piper. Dec. 22 will be a red-letter day for the family from now on. Goddy and I kept busy during the final hours by cleaning out the hay barn and goats' pen. It's the little things that count...


While waiting for Piper, we were also on tenterhooks with one of the Friesians. Max, long a ranch favorite, ended up spending the week before Christmas at the vets with a mystery disease. We're hopeful he's turned the corner and will come home soon.

Today we're enjoying that special sense of day that is Christmas. There's just something about it, even when the day is quiet. The fire is lit, holiday music is in the background and the day outside is lovely. We talked with the down-under family yesterday and managed to quell the longings for a warm holiday. We'll have fresh air time when we go feed the horses, and there are a few leftover huckleberry biscuits tempting us on the cooling rack.

All things really do work together for good...

No More Pity Parties

After several months of silence, its time to come out of the cocoon. I'll be the first to note that a butterfly hasn't been formed in the ensuing time, but neither has a moth. Just what has is anybody's guess!

I've been the guest of honor at a little pity party the past few weeks, feeling glum that Goddy and I will be Christmas orphans this year. We'll be housesitting too, so there was a dilemma about how much decorating to do in the lead up, do we even get a tree, how will it feel to be somewhere without a tree on Christmas morning, etc. I felt like I wanted to copy all the scrumptious stuff in the holiday issues of the womens magazines but wouldn't have any place to enjoy it. And who'd eat all the baking?

Well, enough is enough!! Inspired by my sister-in-law, Kiley, the pity party is over. Everybody go home. Oh, that would be me. Well, I am home and looking forward to an abbreviated Christmas season. We'll visit Evan and Crystal and enjoy their tree and the anticipation of their soon-to-arrive baby. Alyssa and the kids will be here for 10 days, and so in all, we'll get 14 days of Christmas with family.

And it started last night with a visit from my friend, Havilah. We had dinner, baked cookies and did some decorating. Sometimes I forget that I'm a lover of simple, quiet things and that trying to emulate a magazine mom is a dumb deal. (But I'm still going to read the mags and enjoy the pictures!)

Let the festivities begin...

Round and round we go!

When I was younger and going to the amusement park was an amusement of choice, I skipped right past the roller coasters and tilt-a-whirls and headed for the carousel. Anything to get aboard a horse!

Emily and I on the Spokane carousel

This trip has included two fine carousels, one in Spokane and one in Missoula. Mom had heard about the Missoula one, and we found it quite by accident after driving around looking for a way to get closer to the river. We ended up in the parking lot right next to it! And parking is free in Missoula on weekends, even in the public lots.


Mom and I both took a spin, and it was worth the entire 50 cents it cost for each turn. What a deal! Plus, this carousel has a mule!!! Top that, anywhere! This is my all time favorite merry-go-round.

While we were in Spokane, I spent time with my friend, Jeanie. Her artist husband, Ken Spiering, has several installations in public areas downtown and we took a little walking tour.The famous red wagon at Riverside Park

These folks hang out in City Hall

No visit to downtown Spokane is complete without rubbernecking in the Davenport Hotel. We returned the next afternoon for an early-bird dinner in the lobby area. We felt quite posh, enveloped in the deeply comfortable chairs pulled up to the marble tables.

Jeanie and I enjoying the general splendor at the Davenport

The Hall of Doges at the Davenport

We left Spokane to mosey across the Idaho panhandle, stopping in Kellogg and Mullan. Mom remembers Kellogg as the armpit of Idaho, which it was back when the silver mines were flourishing. Now the claim to fame is a ski resort and the longest gondola ride in the world. It was worth waiting around for a couple of hours to enjoy the views.

Partway up the very long gondola cable (over 36,000 feet of it)

In Mullan, Mom remembered where her grandmother planted irises along an empty field (which is still empty to this day, sans irises.) She also remembered where the nasty Chow dog lived and the house where the drug store owner lived. It's a treat to pass through the childhood of another on the tail of their memories.

We did a gravestone rubbing of Mom's Gremmy, but alas, couldn't find her other grandmother in a different cemetery. It was pleasant wandering through the shaded rows there, although I'm not sure that pleasant is the right way to describe looking for a grave.

When I was doing Gremmy's rubbing, I thought it was a good idea to be laid to rest in one spot. But then when we were fruitlessly searching for Grandma Bauer, the thought of being scattered to the four winds had merit, saving the family the frustration of trying to find an elusive granite marker. (Note to family - if you must bury me somewhere, make my marker purple or something so future generations can find me.)